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HOW DO I COPE WITH GRIEF?

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Feeling overwhelmed by sorrow and the loss of someone special? Here are 3 Simple Suggestions for you to try

  • Be AWARE that you maybe coping with a multitude of feelings and emotions at once. If your grief is associated with the loss of a loved one – you may be dealing with grief compounded by shock, loneliness, unresolved issues, unfinished business, and failure with communications or a mixture of more than one of the above. To help process unresolved issues/communications it can be helpful to ‘write a 3day Completion Letterto the loved one (write 1 letter per day for minimum of 3days in a row).Start the letter with Dear ___ and write everything & anything that comes into your head, keep writing for 2-3 pages or more, allow the emotions to flow while writing. After the third writing burn the paper (if you have used a computer to write- print it off then burn in a safe setting) as a symbolic releasing of the communication. (It will do no harm if you may feel the need to repeat this process)
     
  • Be willing to give yourself ‘permission’ & ‘the space’ to feel your feelings. Often we can mistakenly believe that we ‘have to be strong’ in the midst of trauma, either ‘for the sake of others’ or to ‘prevent a total meltdown’YET in truth – the most powerful place we can be –is in our feelings (not necessarily in the drama). When we surrender to our feeling — breathe into the feelings– keep breathing into each of them (affirm = it is OK & safe to feel my feelings) allow them a healthy expression (no dumping or self-harm) – then we can move through them to acceptance/peace/integration.
  • Be open to receiving support – let family & friends support you & find ways to support yourself. It is common for us to feel isolated & alone when dealing with grief; sometimes we can feel so ‘raw’ we shun exposure to others/the world & want to ‘hide away’ – Honoring these feelings can be useful for awhile THEN it is more useful to let others in/let them help/accept support (for each individual the time span will be different = 5min, 5 hours, 5 days or longer). It is Ok to be discriminating about who you allow to support you. SOME of the many ways for you to support yourself can include – spending time in nature (get outdoors, sit under a tree/by a creek or river, walk on beach/in forest/around the neighborhood etc); have a warm relaxing bath; visit your Massage Therapist/Bodyworker & receive some pampering; watch a favorite film/movie; do some gentle movement such as yoga; play your favorite music, dance, sing etc etc etc.

 

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