“My Husband/Lover has left me for another woman – I feel like stabbing ‘him/her’ to death!!!!”

Here are some very important elements to consider when facing this kind of plight

1.   Know that is OK,  AND perfectly normal to be having these feelings in this type of circumstance

2.   Know that this situation (these feelings of helplessness, rage & pain) WILL ease & WILL pass

3.   You have the Power, Wisdom & Universal Support to move through this turbulence in your own time

4.   You are NEVER alone with your painful feelings, confusion or turmoil – We ALL have these experiences at various times in our lives – often bringing up Anger & Rage that we attribute to the ‘cause’

 

Many people find it helpful to punch a pillow, or wind the windows up in the car (parked of course in a safe, secluded place) and scream out their frustration & anger till they feel better. Others walk – taking the biggest strides possible and saying under their breath ‘helpful/appropriate’ words like f** B** (blah blah – you get the idea), just keep walking/pacing it out till you feel better. BUT with all of these suggestions there are 2 possible problems – you may hurt yourself or another + you may get caught up in the ‘drama of it all’ and keep stuck in the anger rather than actually move through the feelings.

 

When I have been in these types of situations I have found it most useful to remember 2 other IMPORTANT elements

Firstly We are rarely angry for the reason we think (Often as we ‘process our anger’ we get to other issues/ or what is underneath it)

Secondly In the midst of our most painful experiences in Life we often discover some of our most Precious Gifts & Opportunities

Sometimes it is advisable to get professional help with our anger management OR

Try this 5 day AM Process =Anger Management Process (This process has been adapted from a technique I learned over 10years ago, and have used successfully on many occasions – I have found it MOST useful in this type of upheaval)

You will need

          Have a safe private place where you will not be disturbed;

          Have lots of paper & a good pen;  

          A willingness to commit to completing the full 5days of the AM Process

What you do

Begin your writing each day with – Dear ___ (Use the person’s name. Do only one person for the full 5 days. If more than one person is the object of your anger = do another 5day AM Process for them after the primary person)

Next write – Something I need to tell you is . . . . . .  and start writing all the feelings, all the thoughts that come into your head. You may go over conversations you had with the person (recent or in past), you may write how you see their actions, you may write about how your future looks . . just anything & everything that comes into your head . . . . pour it out onto the page. Let the tears fall  . .. .just keep writing . . . write till you have no more to say. Write at least 3 pages (if you are not a big writer yet) and as many as you like if you are into lengthy writings anyway. When you have finished the writing – rip the pages into tiny pieces (very important therapy!!) and throw them in the bin. Or if you have a fireplace – burn them! Do this each day for 5days, if at after the 5day process – you still feel you have heaps to express = do it again!!

THEN when you know you are absolutely ready – there are 2 more processes that can be used to follow-up on the Healing you have started. But that is for a future date – just be happy to take baby steps first. Remember to Love&Nuture yourself at this time!

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